This past weekend I had on my wedding season calendar both a local - family - bridal shower and an out-of-town bachelorette party in Southampton, New York. Given I cannot be in two places at once and could not justifiably afford the trip east I opted to stay home for the shower and send some bachelorette goodies in my place.

In total I spent $72 dollars this weekend participating in wedding season. Had I traveled to New York my expenses would have been upwards of $800 including flights, transportation, accommodations, drinks, meals and airport parking plus the gift for the shower I would have missed. In staying home - and staying in budget - my wedding season weekend breakdown looked like this:

1. $4 - one pair of ridiculous pink panties in order to participate in the Panty Personality game
2. $7 - 2-day shipping said panties to my friend in New York so that they could make it to Southampton
3. $40 - my contribution towards two bottles of Roederer Estate Brut Rose (split three-ways between me and two other friends who could not attend the bachelorette) to be served as a surprise at the bachelorette dinner at Madame Tong’s (256 Elm Street, Southampton, NY 11968)
4. $21 - bridal shower Betsey Johnson lingerie gift from Nordstroms

So $72 versus $800 is really no contest - especially considering wedding #9 of 2010 was just added to the calendar this morning. Now I am going to need the $800 to get to this Virginia wedding. Was I sad to miss my friend’s last girls weekend before her wedding? Absolutely! Will I see her in just four weeks at her own wedding? Thankfully yes and for this event and celebration I cannot wait. Until then I have two weddings to attend - including one this Saturday here in Los Angeles (for which I still need a gift and a dress) - and many things to organize before heading to Blue Hill, Maine for the wedding.

Your Attendance is Appreciated!™

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For my friend Monica’s Bachelorette weekend seven of us (three Angelenos, two Seattlites, one DC girl and a Hawaii transplant) traveled to Santa Barbara for a girl’s weekend away. Monica is my busy bride friend who guest blogged the other week and her wedding is in July in less than eighty days. I know this because my friend Neena’s August wedding is in exactly 80 days per her wedding website. Both on the calendar - and sooner than I realize - yet I still have to RSVP for both. 

So while customarily bachelorete parties occur closer to the wedding date - Neena’s will be in July, this April weekend, three months out, was the only one that worked for everyone.  Monica’s Maid of Honor, Neha, the organized MOH whose party planning email I shared back in March did a fantastic job putting together a memorable, stress-free, fun and affordable bachelorette weekend. Here are some of the highlights from the trip:

What to do:  

Captain Jack’s Santa Ynez Valley Wine Tasting Tour

For most of Saturday we spent the day wine tasting around Santa Ynez and Los Olivos (est. thirty minutes from Santa Barbara). Captain Jack provided the itinerary and the driver/guide, Dominic, who was top-notch and funny and I would totally recommend requesting him. Not sure why, but I really expected our driver to resemble Wilford Brimley not the Hawaii-raised, UC Santa Barbara college student who picked us up. We paid for the bride so for six of us it was $99 each plus tip for the day and that included all of our wine tastings, transportation and reservations.

Wineries and tasting rooms we hit included: Gainey, Bridlewood, and Daniel Gehrs. Bridlewood was by far my favorite in part because I most preferred their wine, our server was hysterical and the grounds on the estate were stunning. But Gainey is where I bought my only bottle - a delicious Sauvignon Blanc, as well as some mustard and horseraddish mayonaise. We also experienced an olive oil tasting at Global Gardens ($3) - where I bought an amazing walnut oil - as well as had lunch at the Los Olivos Cafe.

Where to eat:

On Saturday night we had a 9pm dinner reservation at a tapas restaurant called Milk & Honey. The check - split six ways including gratuity, drinks and the bride’s meal - came out to $42 per person and these were the largest ”small plates” of tapas any of us had ever had before so no one went hungry. And with half of the party being vegetarian there were many selections - both for the vegetable and meat eaters. My favorite dishes included the Brussels sprouts, the Tortilla Española and the “Nice Rack” lamb pops. What was also a nice surprise to kick off our meal was that the groom-to-be, Gary, arranged for a bottle of champagne to be poured upon our arrival. Aside from champagne - after a day of wine-tasting - the most popular drink on the table was the Passionfruit Mojito.

Milk & Honey is located at 30 W Anapamu St, Santa Barbara, CA 93101.

On Sunday the Maid of Honor and one of the bridesmaids treated all of us to a bridesmaid brunch at the Four Seasons Biltmore in Santa Barbara. We ate at the Bella Vista restaurant that is known for its exquisite Sunday Brunch Buffet. We sat on the terrace overlooking the beach and made Monica open her lingerie shower gifts at the table. If you are looking for a memorable and delicious location for a small group, special event I definitely recommend this Four Seasons.

The Four Seasons Biltmore is located at 1260 Channel Drive, Santa Barbara, CA, 93108.

Where to play:

After dinner on Saturday night we walked - for quite awhile - to a club called EOS Lounge where we got a patio booth for our party. There was definitely a line outside, but Monica went right to the front and requested a table and we got it. Monica decided that this bottle service situation was going to be her gift to us, but we independently put together some money because we didn’t want her to pay for the whole table. It was fun, the design was engaging, and the music was good. But it felt like they closed early so went back to our hotel for our own dance party.

EOS Lounge (photo from their Facebook Fan Page)

EOS is located at 500 Anacapa Street, Santa Barbara, CA 93101.

Where to stay:

We stayed at The Beach House Inn in their King Patio apartment that included a full kitchen and two sofa beds. The cost came out to $99 each for both nights. For less than $50 per night this was an amazing find and right between the beach and the main street in Santa Barbara. The only tricky part about this hotel was that we had one bathroom for seven girls - not ideal - but it was only two nights. The Beach House Inn also brewed delicious coffee in the morning.

Miscellaneous:

Know that if you are going to have a big group to get around in Santa Barbara you can call for a minivan cab which is perfect - and budget-supreme. Also, getting away does not have to mean getting out. We spent our Friday night in the hotel. This way everyone could get there afterwork (approx. 90 minutes from LA) with no pressure to be there by a certain time and it was a very chill way for everyone to either catch up or meet each other for the first time.

Since our hotel room had a full kitchen, for dinner we decided to make personal pizzas and salad - ingredients from Trader Joes - and for dessert the MOH had brought two dozen outrageously decadent cupcakes from Sprinkles. After dinner we played three bachelorette party games: 1- Monica trivia, 2- Toilet Paper Wedding Dress design competition, and 3- a game I can’t really even begin to explain that involved panty hose and two small oranges. I won no games but still ended up with a lovely lavendar soap and dish as a favor.

Related topics:

1. Mobile Day Spa Bachelorette Party
2. Bachelorette Party Game - Here Comes The Panty Personality
3. South Beach, Miami: The Bachelorette Party Destination
4. Expert Survival Tip: Luck Be A Vegas Bachelorette Party by Tracey Kumer-Moore
5. Dancing Around the Bachelorette Pole
6. Pin The Macho Elsewhere & Get Me A Cocktail 

With five upcoming 2010 weddings - and one bridal shower and one bachelorette party on the calendar (so far) - I find myself very grateful for organized and mindful Maids of Honor like the one who sent me the email below about an upcoming bachelorette weekend happening in April.  Have a read, use it as a model for your own party planning and then I will tell you why this Maid of Honor rocks at helping friends survive wedding season!

Hi friends of _______,
 
I just wanted to touch base with all of you regarding ________’s bachelorette. As you all know, the bachelorette will take place in _______________ from April __ to __. Below are additional details regarding the weekend:
 
Lodging. We are booked in a suite at the ________________. Check in is at 2:00 PM so feel free to show up on Friday any time after 2. The total cost for two nights is $645. Right now we have six confirmed attendees, which means that each girl will owe $108. We have two more “maybes” who won’t know if they will be able to come until later. If they decide to join then the total cost per girl will go down.
 
Friday Night. On Friday night I was thinking that we could all just cook dinner together and hang out at the house and drink wine (and maybe do some cheesy bachelorette games). We can totally play it by ear though. If we decide we want to go out, we can!
 
Saturday Day. On Saturday, we are going to do a wine tour. The total cost of the tour is $99 per person. Since there will be five girls paying for six spots (we will pay for the bride-to-be) the cost per girl will be $118.80. Of course, the cost will go down if the “maybes” become “yeses”. Also, lunch is not included in the cost of the tour so please be sure to budget for a restaurant lunch.
 
Saturday Night. This is our night out on the town! Please send suggestions for fun places for dinner and dancing so I can get us bookings.

Sunday Morning. ______’s bridesmaids will host a lingerie shower for (the bride) at a TBD location (hopefully on the beach!). All you have to bring is your beautiful selves and a lingerie gift.
 
Other logistics. I will be in touch around April 9th with more details.
 
Looking forward partying it up with you ladies!
 
XO,
 
_____

I’m in! And as one fairly organized soul I love this email and how it breaks down the plan. I know where the party is and what the accomodations are like, what to pack, what it’s going to cost (and what I need to save now) and how we are going to celebrate our friend and her upcoming marriage. 

I have only met this particular Maid of Honor once but with this email I can say that I appreciate her sincerity and enthusiasm as well as her lack of presumptions and assumptions. She thoughtfully booked a reasonably priced hotel and wine trip and provided me over two months to make arrangements. I also know I should bring a gift and that I’m on my own for certain meals.  Now it is up to me to sort out my transportation and what I am going to wear to dinner.

In summary, here are some helpful Maid of Honor tips to help make sure you are properly conveying information to the bride’s girlfriends when planning a trip:    

• Plan In Advance: Once you have the wedding Save The Date work out the best time to party and get an email or card out to the bride’s friends as soon as possible.  Even if you do not have a firm plan, get the date out so others can get it on the calendar.
• Schedule Of Events: Let the girls know what the bride wants to do and map out a general plan of events, meals, games, accomodations - with check-in time - and transportation options.  
• Assume Nothing: Don’t pick the hottest hotel on an island no one can get to and don’t reserve the $$$$ restaurant. This might be drammatic, but you get the point. Everyone’s budgets are different and the more you spend doesn’t mean you’ll have more fun.
• No Hidden Costs: Ballpark two sets of estimated costs - one if everyone attends and one if half the group commits. If someone has to cancel at the last minute as a courtesy let the entire group know in advance that the cost per person has changed (remember, Assume Nothing). 
• Brides Pay: You can take the bride to dinner and buy her drinks, but she should pay for her accomodations. Ultimately it is up to you and your group to decide how to handle the bride’s costs. Some feel strongly that the bride should not pay a cent but not everyone feels that way (or can afford it). Treat your friend to a celebratory dinner and/or event (the Maid of Honor above denotes that the group will pay for the Bride’s Wine Tasting) but tell the group up front what to expect so that they can budget (remember, No Hidden Costs). If the bride drinks you should take turns buying her drinks but she should not assume she has no expenses.

Related topics:

1. Bachelorette Party Game - Here Comes The Panty Personality
2. Lingerie Showers Leading To An Affordable, Sexier Me
3. Get Yourself A Bachelorette Party Planner!
4. South Beach, Miami: The Bachelorette Party Destination
5. Luck Be A Vegas Bachelorette Party by Tracey Kumer-Moore
6. Maid Of Honor, Grab Your Girls and Your Guns

Have a great wedding survival tip to share with the Survive Wedding Season community? Email your tips to solutions@surviveweddingseason.com.

Your Attendance Is Appreciated! ^™

As long as it’s not hurricane season, might we recommend Miami’s South Beach as a fabulous destination for a Bachelorette Weekend!

This summer Survive Wedding Season attending a three-day, ten-girl Bachelorette fiesta! The destination: the bride’s first pick. The planning: done by an amazing Maid of Honor. The plans and events: fun, relaxing, memorable and affordable. Essentially, all we had to do was show up with party shoes, a bathing suit and some sunscreen.

Where To Stay:

Sagamore, the Art Hotel

1671 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139

The Sagamore seems to be THE Bachelorette party destination as our group of ten was one of at least three other girl groups at the pool.  It’s a boutique hotel right on the beach with affordable rates and discounts for groups. We had two roomy suites and one standard room and were in walking distance of everything we needed or desired. Also, if by Sunday you feel like you haven’t had enough, the Sagamore hosts a pool party.

Where To Eat:

Enjoy a delicious brunch at Nexxt Cafe, 700 Lincoln Road, 33139 - just a short walk from the Sagamore. Bring your appetite - the portions are hearty - or be prepared to share plates and maybe still have leftovers. Including Bloody Marys, anticipate spending about $20 per person.

Also walking distance on Lincoln is SUSHISAMBA. If sushi is not your thing may we also recommend Philippe Miami at the Gansevoort Hotel, 2305 Collins Ave, 33139, for family-style chinese-moderne. For your stomach and your purse think about ordering one less dish than the waiter recommends.

For italian there is Hosteria Romana on the picturesque Española Way which is great for people watching and group dining. If you want to dine and subsequently dance all over your table, try the greek Taverna Opa, 36-40 Ocean Drive, 33139. You might need a cab as it’s at the very end of Ocean Drive, but you’ll never have so much fun clearing the table!

Where To Drink:

If you end up at Philippe for dinner at the Gansevoort definitely have an after-dinner drink at Plunge - the hotel’s rooftop bar. We really hope you enjoy your drink as they wont be cheap (with gratuity included), but the view of the ocean and the vibe definitely make up for the price.  Other hotel bars to explore (both walking distance from the Sagamore) include (more…)