Expert Survival Tip: How To Fly Solo At A Wedding
In honor of Valentine’s Day, our latest Wedding Guest Survival Tip comes from Manhattan-based relationship consultant, Shula Melamed. 
Shula holds a B.S. in Communication from Boston University and a M.A. in Psychology from the New School for Social Research. It is from a variety of experiences, not only academic, but also professional and social, that allow Shula to speak on the topic of relationships. In this case, how to survive - and enjoy - wedding season without a date.
After years of planning singles parties, writing personal ads, and traveling the country on bachelorette searches for one of New York City’s premiere, upscale matchmakers, Shula decided to pursue a more academic path towards her growing interest in the individual and social dynamics of interpersonal relationships. Shula also works as a dating consultant for First Impressions Consulting, LLC. where she provides simulated dates and behavioral feedback for clients with social impression management issues.
From Shula:
Whether you have just broken up with your usual plus one, you are happily single in spite of what your grandmother might think, or you are dating someone casually that you are not quite sure about inviting, before you make like Debra Messing in that horrible movie where she hires a hunky male prostitute (played by the hunky Dermott Mulroney, who she of course, SPOILER ALERT falls in love with) please consider the reasons flying solo may be your best option.
Scenario #1: You just broke up with someone:
You might think a wedding is the last place you would want to be. You start thinking about how you can’t seem to make any relationship work. Perhaps you were wrong and so-and-so the ex was the one for you, and depending on the length and seriousness of your former relationship perhaps this is the first solo public event to deal with. Yes it is true you couldn’t make the relationship work - with that person.
Do not take the opportunity to meet new people for granted by becoming intoxicated by the fumes of nostalgia. As wonderful as so-and-so was the relationship ended for a reason. Reflect on that and go meet some people!
First solo event? Enjoy navigating the room and meeting with friends old and new. Sometimes when one has been in a relationship for a long time it is common to fall out of touch with peripheral friends and acquaintances. Who knows, they could introduce you to your next so-and-so.
Scenario #2: You are happily single:
When you are at a wedding it is customary for guests to speculate on the romantic status of other guests. If you are happily single the potential of finding yourself fielding questions as to when you too plan on tying the knot is very salient. Let people know how happy you are with your career, passions, family, friends instead of going on the defense. If you are truly comfortable with your choice, own it.
Scenario #3 You are in a new, and uncertain, relationship:
It is tempting, especially when one has been single for a long time, to invite someone with whom you are in a fairly new relationship to a wedding. Inviting your new beau might be a great way to introduce them to many important people in your life, but does the idea of this person at your side for this big event make you feel less than excited? Pay attention to that intuition and hold off before telling them to dry clean their party clothes. Decide to go solo and wish your new guy was there? Use that intuition to help you push the relationship forward.
Although none of these scenarios would make a great romantic comedy starring Debra Messing, they are surefire tactics to protect you from any wedding date tragedy staring you.
Related topics:
-
To Bring A Date Or Not To Bring A Date by Vicky Choy
- How To Not Attend A Wedding
- What To Expect At A Quaker Wedding
-
Expert Survival Tip: What To Expect At A Rehearsal Dinner by Kathy Goodman
Have a great wedding survival tip to share with the Survive Wedding Season community? Email your tips to solutions@surviveweddingseason.com.
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About the Author
Shula Melamed holds a B.S. in Communication from Boston University and a M.A. in Psychology from the New School for Social research.
It is from a variety of experiences, not only academic, but also professional and social that allows for Shula to speak on a number of topics regarding relationships, sexuality and self-presentation with some authority. Upon graduating with a degree in communication Shula worked for one of New York's top upscale matchmakers. After years of planning single's parties, personal ad writing, bachelorette searches, consultations, and home visits to clients (complete with bathroom cabinet invasions) Shula decided to pursue a more academic path to explore a growing interest in the individual and social dynamics. Shula also works as a dating consultant for First Impressions Consulting, LLC. where she provides simulated dates and behavioral feedback for clients with social impression management issues.
Shula is involved in sexuality research at Columbia University and is also currently pursuing her own research program examining body image, body awareness and sexuality within pole dance fitness classes.
In addition to, or perhaps a compliment to, her professional and academic experience Shula also enjoys a life long love of dance, travel and epicurean pleasures.
Tags: How To Survive Wedding Season Single, Shula Melamed, Wedding Blog, Wedding Reception Advice
